I think I am allowed to post this...

This blog is about letting each other know how we are doing, and sharing ideas right?
I can't really explain my bonheur conjugal...nor do I want to be too processed mozzarella about it...
I don't think he would mind me showing you this...

...and if a picture was ever worth a thousand words...:)

FOUND ONE!!!

It is puuurfect! We are going to be so happy there!
4 and a half, 520 a month, in verdun, close to metro...mémé tartine next door!
We have a home, un petit nid.
Youpi!

La Quête

Finding an apartment is a great exercise for the imagination. You think of all the practical things, sure, but you also have to see yourself happily living there.
Looking for an apartment with your boyfriend is doubly an exercise of the imagination. You must see two happy destinies unfold in the three, or four, or five and a half rooms you are carefully examining.
We are looking in Verdun.
So far, soooo dirty.
We are not losing hope of finding the jem, though. That's exactly what we are both looking for, a little oasis of beauty.
La Quête has me losing sleep a bit. It comes with so many visions of next year, so many uncertainties: where will I work, will I eventually go back to school, will J.G. still love me, will MF and MD come over...
I couldn't sleep at all one night and went to sleep on J.G.'s couch. He was a bit upset and associated the insomnia with him only: i.e. that I would be afraid it would not work with him, or that I was not feeling ready to move-out.
Eh non, it has to do with my own fears of non-accomplishment. Being with someone so positive makes me feel like I have to really be "à mon affaire" and live-up to him, happiness-wise. It actually helps. As for reassurance, I have to point it out often, when I need it, but then I do get it. Very much so.

The wonderfulest conversation

J.G. et moi choisisons les pires moments pour nos conversations les plus intenses. En fait, je devrais dire "le" pire moment, car c'est toujours juste avant de se coucher. Ces conversations on l'effet, sur moi, d'à peu près trois mille tonnes de café! Je ne peux jamais m'endormir après, mais c'est pour une bonne raison, c'est parce que je suis super-heureuse et aussi parce que quand on discute, lui et moi, mon cerveau s'active beaucoup. (D'ailleurs, vous voyez sans-doute de part la piètre qualité de l'écriture dans ce post qu'il me reste peu de power-cérébral ce matin!)

Il me fait penser, ce J.G.!

Hier, il m'a fait des confidences. Il m'a parler de son avenirs, de ses inquiétudes, de solutions possibles, de doutes...
Je crois que j'ai été vraiment bonne à l'écouter, à le conseiller, et à le rassuer. Oui, oui, je crois que j'ai bien fais ces trois choses là!
Il m'a remercier et il m'a serré fort. Il s'est excusé aussi car il a dit ne pas vouloir m'embêter avec ses problèmes...et il a exprimé l'inquiétude aussi de sembler faible à mes yeux...à quoi j'ai répondu qu'on faisais équipe, lui et moi. Il a beaucoup aimé la réponse :)
Le plus beau dans tout ça, c'est que c'est vrai. On est vraiment une équipe!
C'est fou comme aimer quelqu'un change les choses. Des fois, je me trouve un courage et un optimisme que je n'aurais jamais pensé avoir autrement.

He is also my "reality" monitor, when I stray he starts to beep :)
He thinks of my happiness, and "our" happiness. We make decisions together...

Quand on parle de l'avenir, on finit toujours la conversation en se disant que l'on bâtis un avenir enssemble...l'effet que ceci a sur moi...c'est comme dans les chansons d'Edith Piaf..."heureuse à en pleurer..."

This is really real, wow.

Cho-seen

Pictures are so wonderful. I think I love them more than words, and I mean, I really love words.

I am in a wonderful house today. The owners are friends of the family (Mf's Denis's friends) and we are here for MF's birthday.
They are wonderful people, and have a beautifuly decorated house. It is beautiful because it makes eclectic work. None of what they have is über expensive but everything was carefuly chosen. You can tell they picked "that" chair when they were on vacation in Italy together, or "this" table they found in a antic store, somehwere in the Spanish countryside...
They have many things that look liek they are purty old (so maybe some of them are very expensive, actually...oops)btu they blended them in really well with the few pretty things you can find at Barnes and Nobles.
It isn't even necessarily meticulous choice, but everything works as a estheticaly cohesive whole because you can tell it was chosen authentically. The place reflects them, their parcours, the love they share, how much pleasure they took in discovering the places they saw together.

I would like to make a living space look like me someday. If I am really lucky, it will look like the man I love and I's parcours.

I am feeling pretty energetic, lately. I don't sleep enough, though. I need to catch-up on that...and homework. Otherwise, everything is p-e-r-f-e-c-t.

My boss has entrusted me with the responsibility for the content (all of it) of his magazine, a bi-yearly "publication" on all of life through a Financial lense. Most of it will consist of re-hashing already published articles (by the National Bank Financial), which is fine by me because, frankly, I wouldn't now what to say about Finance, or how to say it.

The challenging and interesting part will be the interviews. I get to do a couple of interviews about more homeley questions like: "Les Finances et le couple" (what are the financial consequences of a separation, for married couples, union civiles, and conjoints de fait) Muy interesante! I am also interviewing a psychologist about some emmotional questions related to the financial consequences of a separation...

I am really happy to have this opportunity to handle something like this by myself. It is the perfect occasion to prove to myself that I can undertake something and do it well. I had been seeking this-out and it came to me, in the end (se estarà desarrollando mi leyenda personal?)

Other "career move": next week-end, I am going to hand-out my c.v. to these guys:

http://www.braderiedemodequebecoise.com/

I would like to volunteer to help set-up the event...or just serve coffee...or wash the floors...

I also made a new friend at karaté. Her name is Sandra. She is from Bolivia, and she studied fashion design in Paris. She is now a designer here in Montreal and she recently had to close her shop (didn't really ask why...) she kept her clients and now does sur-mesure clothing all by herself. It is hard work and she says she would love to have someone help her with the more technical stuff...
I haven't spoken to her about this yet, but I would love to volunteer and help her out.
Of course, I need to figure-out some sewing skills first...but I can do that. We both love karaté so we will be around each other for a while, and I doupt her work situation will change by next fall. That is my target-time for being ready with the sewing skills.

Things are happening. Well, not yet. But the universe certainly is conspiring to help me. À moi d'y rendre justice!

I am still a little bit afraid that I will fail horribly at life, but the more I do, the more that fear goes away, and the more I see how incredibly fortunate I am. Being fortunate is a good thing, even when it happens before you deserve it. I just have to keep working at living-up to what has been given to me, and not focus on the fear that I will not be able to do it justice.

Marie is turning forty. I am glad I can be there. We have been busy lately, but we are doing good, I think. She talks to me more about herself and what is going on with her, which makes me happy, and reasures me that we are still close. Things have changed a lot since I was the little girl that shared the Drolet house with her. I would run to her for any little question. I have grown-up quite a bit since then. I am always afraid that I have done a bad job of this, and that she will cease to love me as a result. But I think things are ok, and that I have grown (so far) into a person who is able to be good to her, and Micheal.

This has been a long one...I think I should stop now, and go do some homework.