Well, it has been a rough month, but also a wonderful one. Moving-in was more complicated than expected. Many set-backs and bad surprises had to be overcome. However, these episodes brought J.G. and I even closer, which I am very greatful for. In this period of my life, I feel safe enough to rediscover the pleasure of enjoying difficulties and bouts of sadness. Feeling less alone has allowed be to appreciate tough times. Going through them and overcoming them makes me feel alive. I had not had that since cejep.
Many things are going-on appart from the move.
I have started my sewing lessons and LOVE them. I am making a wonderful skirt. It is very exciting to learn how to make beautiful clothing. So far, I find the technical aspect of sweing interesting too, nto just the result. I am just beginning, of course, but this is still encouraging.
The appartment is also looking purty darn awesome, and both J.G. and I are loving that. I think that it will be the first time in a long time that we feel at home in a place. Not completely, because it isn't ours, but close. It feels great to work with him. We paint, we sand things, we choose things together, and it has all been going marvelously well. We even learned you can re-do the enamel on a bathtub! :D
One bad aspect is that these times are incredibly financially tight. Still, now more than ever I see what a good investment this is. J.G. works so hard and is so understanding. We are doing better than ever. This is really...really...real. I tell him how I feel, I am not afraid of confrontation (ok that's not true-but I confront all the same), and he recongnizes when he is wrong. We can be so open about things, and we disagree a lot...which makes things interesting. He sees things so positively (which is ubber good for me) and is so smart. His support and care have made so many things easier. He also challenges me to be the best I can be for him, out of gratitude. I think that is a pretty solid base. Oh yeah, and the more I get to know him, the more I realise that we have the same "code".
I feel I never have time to write as beautifuly as you: J. and Adl. For now, my entries are just boring updates. I really want to make it a point to find the time to write-out what I think and make it interesting, like you do.
I have been better about not over-worrying (and consequently creating problems) and not thinking too negatively. I find this is the result of not thinking too long-term, and making sure that what I am doing short-term feels right. This also leaves room for the unexpected, which, I am learning to trust, can turn-out to be good (i.e. J.G.).
I could really realate to Adl's entry about letting go. :)
The photo is my future haircut.
