La liseuse en bleu

I love this painting.

I stumbled upon this text about it on the internet. It is by a guy named Pierre Desproges. I think I love it as much as the painting.
God I wish I could write like that!

Le grand silence de Vermeer
Texte de Pierre DESPROGES

Si tant est que la providence m'ait jamais doté du moindre sens artisti­que, il m'apparaît qu'elle m'a plus généreusement ouvert aux joies de l'oreille qu'aux plaisirs de l'oeil. J'ai connu d'exquis frissons du sacrum aux lombaires en écoutant Verdi, Charlie Par­ker ou Paolo Conte, et souffert des cervicales sous les sacrés plafonds vénitiens dégoulinant d'angelots Renaissance boursouflés au pin­ceau du Tintoret.

Primaire et terrien, plus prompt à vibrer aux réalités palpables qu'à leurs représentations à l'huile, j'ai toujours préféré voir bouger de vrais culs de chair enrobés de soie plutôt que les images plus nobles et plus nues qu'en ont figées Renoir ou ses pompeux aïeux. Et le bouquet d'anémones épuisées cueillies dans mon jardin me charme mieux à coeur que les plus somp­tueuses floralies sur bois des établissements Bruegel.

Ainsi bâillais-je effrontément devant les quinze mètres carrés de « la Ronde de nuit », en ce sombre matin d'Amsterdam et d'avril, dans la grande salle du Rijksmuseum où j'avais fui la pluie, quand j'eus soudain la sensation aiguë d'une présence derrière moi. C'était toi, dans ta veste à rubans bleue. En réalité, je t'avais pro­bablement entrevue l'instant d'avant, mais ce n'est qu'après coup que je ressentais l'onde de choc de ta beauté cachée dans ce petit rectangle entoilé où tu n'en finis pas de relire la lettre de cet imbécile qui t'a mise enceinte avant d'aller faire la guerre en Artois. C'est une matinée fraîche. Le lait chaud fume dans le bol de faïence que ta fille aînée tient à deux mains, à l'autre bout de la table. Elle t'écoute. Elle est bien. Derrière elle, un soleil atténué filtre au carreau pour lui chauffer la nuque. Il souligne à peine la douceur irréelle de ton front d'Adjani. Voyeur confus de ton intimité, je ressens comme une douleur le calme indescriptible et surhumain qui irradie de toi .

Mme Van Guldener, qui fait autorité dans les palettes, dit, parlant de toi, que « le noeud qui dissimule en partie la joue du modèle est une diagonale mouvante qui conduit l'oeil jus­qu'au profil sensible tout en faisant disparaître une surface assez pauvre ». Il me semble que Mme Van Guldener manque de simplicité. Elle n'est pas de ton milieu. Mais peu t'im­porte. Tu ne vis que pour cette lettre.

« Chère Helena,

J'espère que tu vas bien et que les enfants vont bien. Je vais bien. Mon cheval va bien. La guerre va bien. As-tu pensé à changer le velours des chaises bleues du séjour ?.. »

Sont-ils cons, ces militaires...

Pierre.D.

Perspective, I love you.

I have been feeling a little bit discouraged lately. There is all this change going-on and it feels like some things are happening too quickly, and others not quickly enough. In either case, there are moments in which I forget why I am doing what I am doing, and wonder what I want.
Do I really still want to move-in with Jonathan? Plans are being made at stellar speed, and there is no going back (of course there could be...but once lease, three pieces of furniture bought together, and a truck reservation later, it would be complex). When I take a deep breath and stop worrying, I realize that even though what we have is not perfect, it has got all the ingredients of a good recipe. If I were to worry less about whether he is really being good to me, and more on how I could be good to him, I would see more of what he does for me. His love often manifests itself in strange ways, but they are always earnest attempts to take care of me and keep "us" happy and in love. Perspective: he is still the best man I know, and hell yes I want to live with the best man I know. Bring-on the compromise!
On the list of things not happening quickly enough; my plans to explore the world of Fashion are quickly making me realize just how long things can take. All I know is that I like clothing and that I am a visual person. I have no particularly amazing skills and know not the first thing about the fashion world. Lately, I have decided that in a perfect world, I would probably be an illustrator. I am just going with what I think I like, ignoring common sense a little bit (a lot), and hoping for the best (i.e. not ending-up broke-ass on the street). It sometimes feels daunting to think of how much I have to accomplish to become relevant in any way in the Fashion world, and it is also frightening that I know it so little because I am afraid of regret...Again, perspective saves the day. Do I like looking-up fashion blogs more than doing anything else, lately? Yes. Do I fantasize about having a collection of clothing of my own? Yes. Do I constantly think-up outfits, and have been ever since I can remember? Yes. Is there a (slight as it may be) chance of me finding something I like to do in the fashion world that I may become good at? Yes. Well, then, sounds like I ought to stop stressing, doesn’t it? Yes...
Here too, I will have to compromise, but I don’t want to think of that now. For the moment, I am just doing as many fashion related things as possible, and building ideas for my blog, and a portfolio for Fashion school. I start fashion illustration classes at Dawson next thursday (computerized and all, yikes!) I went to the Braderie last week and had so much fun! I will have to miss au coeur de la mode, but will sign-up for volunteer work at the next sensatonmode event, in june. I check the Sartorialist every day, and it never fails to cheer me up!
I also have a a fashion buddy! We are becoming friends, slowly. I will refer to her as Elz for this blog. She was in many Italian classes with me and we just get along. We are not close or anything, but we certainly have a lot to talk about. I am excited to have a new friend to share my interests and discoveries with. She and I even talked about maybe making some clothes together. It was just an idea and it was said quickly, but it is a fun idea. She has the business skills and the knowledge of the Fashion world that I don’t have, but she doesn’t design or sketch...kind of sounds like a team to me. For now, we are just getting to know each other and enjoying hanging-out. We are going to a fashion show tomorrow for the store La gaillarde: http://lagaillarde.blogspot.com/. We are also doing the sewing workshop there together..exciting!!!
So, panicky thoughts put asside, all is well. Or at least, slowly and surely, I am getting somewhere, I think...or maybe I am just living in the moment more, and maybe that is a good thing. Maybe it could be, if I let go a bit more.

Fuzzy feeling.

Just wanted to post this because when I saw it it made me feel like everything was going to be allllright (amidst all the big changes going on right now, and all this end of semester stress).